One year ago today the surgeon called me back to her office in Calgary to tell me I had cancer. Though my memory can be poor at times, that day is crystal clear to me as I am sure it is to anyone that has been told to prepare to fight for their life.
Today I have paused to mark and celebrate my life.
The phone was set aside on Do Not Disturb and I have spent a few hours with my acrylics, brushes and canvas – quietly escaping in the stroke of the brush and allowing my mind to focus on nothing but the quiet and meditative moments. Each cancer story is so different – from how it impacts the body, how it impacts our life, how we are surrounded by love and support, even our access to care. I have struggled greatly, especially since the loss of my Mom, to try to understand why I was given this gift of a surprise bonus round at life. (okay, so maybe the surprise was more so that I would need a bonus round, not that it is a bonus in itself). I am focusing on trying to listen better to my spirit, my instincts, those very “voices” that told me to stop with the screenings every 6 months (after 6 years) and have the “preventative” surgeries, those very instincts that saved my life.
So very much water is under the bridge since that diagnosis. Friendships found and strengthened, loved ones lost, faith tested and renewed. Today I truly accept that outcomes could have been very different and had I not made the decision to “do something so radical” my days and outlook may well have been very different. Instead of dancing in hope and celebration that there is so much life left to live, experiences to be had and love to dwell in I could have been preparing my goodbyes for those in my life that I have had the privilege to love.
And to think, some of life’s BEST STORIES haven’t even begun!
Thank you for journeying with me thus far….. I can’t wait to see where we are headed.
With much love,