I awoke this morning to meet a girlfriend for a swim, but when she bailed (legitimate reason) I made the decision to stay home, but upright 😉, and clean my neglected kitchen instead. Who knew I had a great big island?!?!
Sometimes the self care I find myself needing most isn’t the glamourous spa day I would love to be able to become accustomed to (love being pampered and spoiled….though it happens maybe once every few years), but the warm welcome home gift to myself of walking into that beautiful space without the dust bunnies that are plotting to overthrow me, along with the clutter and turmoil of things dropped as I run through on my way to the next thing.
Admittedly this morning I had quite the debate with myself when the text came in that my friend wouldn’t be swimming; as I saw it I had 3 choices.
1. Go back to bed for an extra hour of sleep. Very appealing. I felt I hadn’t had a great night’s sleep so why not try for an extra hour? Perhaps because I know I would likely not really sleep, feel guilty for having gone back to bed when I was already up and “should” be doing something, and then be faced with that sometimes awful task of getting up to go to work instead of getting up to do something for me.
2. Go swimming. It felt fantastic when I did that 2 days ago in the outdoor pool before work, though by the afternoon I was too pooped to party, relied on caffeine to get me through my afternoon of work, and that then impacted my sleep. It will be a routine to become accustomed to (without the extra caffeine), for sure, and I have faith that after a few weeks my body will adjust and be ready to support me through the whole day.
3. I could find my kitchen again through the neglect of the drop and go.
I actually heard myself debating all 3 options in my head, justifying each one and trying to understand what would best support me TODAY, in a very busy work week that will see me in the office over the weekend. It is easy, I find, to feel overwhelmed being solely responsible for both inside and outside of my home with it’s large yard (which I love to putter in), my Boyz (aka 2 dogs), groceries and meal prep, trying to get in my exercise to support my health not to mention finding time to walk the Boyz (they are much more of a stop, sniff liesurely and stroll at their age so can’t say that, though enjoyable, it provides a tonne of cardio for me), and a hectic work week. And then I try to throw in the work/life balance of finding time and energy to spend with friends, enjoying what life is really about in my books (as opposed to maintaining a “well kept” home, which is definitely nice to live in but not my passion to make happen).
So this morning was a very purposeful choice, time to find my kitchen so I can come home and not instantly feel the weight of “ugh, I should take care of this so that I will feel like making a good meal again…what if someone walked in and saw this mess?”. It also included extra time for a guided meditation, some cuddles with my Boyz and some time to journal and write.
So yes world, it IS definitely a good morning as today I truly made the right choice to best love myself today. Not the most glamourous or the one that would make my trainer at the gym the most happy, but the one that would definitely best support ME and what I needed.
May today you find and have opportunity to choose what best supports YOU and what YOU need, not what you think others would want to choose, what you try to convince yourself is right, or what happens by habit but you may then question later about that time spent.
With love, Glenna